From a young age we are conditioned to be contained. We are taught to make ourselves smaller to fit into the box that society dictates we belong in. Growing up I found I had a hard time living in the box that was built by those before me. I liked sports more than princesses, I talked loudly when I was expected to be quiet, I would rather have worn basketball shorts than skirts, I was clumsy and disruptive, I felt things too often and too deeply, and I demanded to be seen.
I found that my authenticity and willingness to be myself scared people. So, like any bright light, people worked to dim me. I spent years of my life conforming in order to be a little more "acceptable", a little easier for others to swallow. I found myself disappearing slowly to ensure those around me felt more comfortable until I no longer recognized myself in the mirror. Too often we get wrapped up in belonging that we forget to ask ourselves what is left for us when we are done being consumed?
The past few years have been a vicious internal fight to deconstruct the persona I had created in an attempt to find me. What do I like to wear? What do I like to do? What did I used to enjoy that I stopped doing? I've worked meticulously to try and find what it is that brings me happiness outside of the demands placed on me. What I've found these last few years is that I can be anyone/anything I want to be. There are no limitations to who I can become and no rules that I need to follow along the way. For so long I was taught that captivity is love, but true love is the freedom we find in being allowed to be ourselves.
The world is always going to have an opinion, but nothing matters besides how you feel about you. So, stop shrinking. Stop minimizing yourself to belong. Stop making yourself smaller, quieter. Stop conforming to the ideals of those who have never known you. One day you too will be asked to look in the mirror. Will you know who you are?