Grow Baby Grow

A few weeks ago, I stumbled across a quote about seeds. The quote, while some may find it juvenile, has had a profound impact on the way I therapize people and my clients alike. The quote reads something like this, "If I ever planted a seed outside in my yard and it doesn't grow, my first thought is never about the seed. I never question the seeds intentions, its discipline, or its willingness to try. My first thought is usually, "What did this seed need to grow that it didn't receive?"".

As humans, it's easy to view another person's situation and make assumptions about what went wrong. We see what the person lacked, what they didn't do enough of, what they should have done differently, etc. As individuals, we sometimes thrust this judgment upon ourselves. We feel guilty for not accomplishing our dreams, we are ashamed for the progress we've made (or lack thereof), or we are embarrassed with where we have ended up. Whether it's from another person or from ourselves, it's so easy to cast judgment on the "seed" for all of its shortcomings, but we hardly ever take the time to assess the full picture.

A seed needs more than just being placed into the ground to grow. Seeds need water, food, sunlight, shelter, and all in the correct proportion. Humans are similar in the sense that they need more than the "gift of life" to thrive. While basic human needs such as shelter, food, water, and clothing are essential for living, people need more than this to flourish. Humans need employment, safety, a sense of connection, support systems, a healthy body, and so much more for even a chance at a thriving life. But still people blame the seed? Maybe it's because American's have been conditioned to believe that we all have a chance at "the American Dream", so when we see someone who is struggling our first thought is "what did they do/not do to end up where they are?". Maybe it's because many of us have been raised in households that have led us to inherit beliefs of brokenness about ourselves and others. Whatever the reason may be, we all have been in the position to judge a seed too harshly.

When the time comes again to pass judgement on another "seed" (the time will come, it always does), my only hope is that you take pause. Before you make assumptions about their character, their goals, their lifestyle, or anything in between, I hope you consider the full picture. I hope you see people for all that they are and not what they lack. I hope you understand that not everyone was planted with the same resources as you. I hope you consider the possibility that some people's "bloom" may be later than others. And most importantly, I hope that when given the opportunity, you're kind to the seed who is just trying to survive. Because we all are.